La bise: Our guide to French kissing culture

Celine Segueg

Are you confused by French greeting kisses? From saying hello using la bise, to full-on tongue kissing, we’ll fill you in on how things work in our French kissing culture!

We’ll focus today’s post on the cultural significance and background of la bise, which refers to the little greeting kisses on both cheeks. Then we’ll cover the vocabulary for all types of kissing in French, from kisses on the cheek to what English speakers affectionately call Frenching.

So pucker up, because we’re about to get started on a fun French kissing lesson!

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La bise: French greeting kisses

La bise is the act of giving a kiss or kisses as a greeting in France. Usually, we give two small kisses: one on each cheek. The kiss on both cheeks can be air kisses or real ones, with a subtle kissing sound or silently. Some people press cheek to cheek and essentially kiss the air, while others firmly plant a kiss on both cheeks. You’ll often be surprised with how each person does their French cheek kiss!

  • Il lui fait la bise. – He’s kissing him hello.
  • On se fait la bise ? – Are we kissing hello?

In most regions the standard bise is to give two kisses, but in some regions it’s common to give one, three, or even four kisses. Don’t worry if you get the number wrong sometimes – we all do whenever we go to a different region!

And do we start the greeting kiss with the left cheek or the right? Well, this really seems to be up to each individual, even if some people say it’s somehow standardized in their region. When you go to give la bise, just start moving towards one side of the other person’s face and the two of you will figure it out.

Deux femmes se donnent la bise
Elles font la bise

Generally, faire la bise is something for friends and family, and it’s fairly ubiquitous in social encounters. It’s also frequently used in professional settings, depending on the culture. This French cheek kiss is the perfect complement to nearly all of the French greetings people say to each other.

If you arrive to meet a group, expect to do a full round of bises with everyone present, and to give any newcomers la bise when they join up and make the same rounds. The same goes for departures. This is actually a great motivation to get to social and work functions first, because if you’re late to the party you’ll spend an eternity greeting everyone with the requisite kisses! Leaving early might motivate you to just disappear without saying a word as well, because of course you’re expected to give la bise to everyone on the way out too. We talk about this and other social norms in our post on how to ace French happy hour.

The most common scenario is that women say hello to everyone with la bise, while men greet women with la bise and men with a handshake. It depends on their familiarity and preference. It’s also very common for men to greet each other with la bise if they’re close, if they haven’t seen each other in a long time, or just if that’s what everyone else is doing. Basically, just follow along with whatever everyone else is doing and you’ll do just fine!

This apparent intimacy is sometimes jarring for men from other cultures, who aren’t usually accustomed to receiving any sort of kisses from other men. It’s very natural for the French, though, so it’s best to embrace the camaraderie! You’ve obviously had a great night of bonding when you meet some new buddies at the start of the night with handshakes, if when you part ways at the end of the night they give you la bise!

The pandemic did create an obstacle for the tradition of la bise, since it’s clearly incompatible with social distancing. It’s therefore not as common among Gen Z. Since lockdowns hit just as they were beginning to socialize, they didn’t necessarily adopt it as a custom. Nonetheless, despite a temporary hiatus during Covid, la bise certainly survived as a French tradition and is fairly ubiquitous yet again.

Kisses in French

In French there are two main words for a kiss: un bisou and un baiser. Une bise is also a kiss, but it’s usually used for the French greeting kisses we’ve been discussing so far.

Un bisou is innocent and has a childlike sound to it. We can even use it as a playful goodbye in French by exclaiming bisous bisous with a smile, or as a quick bye in a French text message by writing biz or even just x.

Un baiser can be innocent, but can refer to more romantic and deep kisses as well.

Be careful, because the noun un baiser means a kiss, but the verb baiser means to fuck in French!

S’embrasser is the reflexive verb for kissing one another, and embrasser simply means to kiss.

  • Je te fais une bise avant de partir. – Let me give you a little kiss before leaving.
  • Je te donne un bisou sur ton bobo. – I’ll give you a little kiss on your ouchie.
  • C’était un baiser passionné. – It was a passionate kiss.
  • Tu m’allumes tellement, je veux te baiser tout de suite. – You’re turning me on so much, I want to fuck you right now.
  • Est-ce que vous vous êtes embrassés ? – Did you kiss (each other)?
  • On s’embrasse ? – Shall we kiss (each other)?
  • Il embrasse sa copine. – He is kissing his girlfriend.

Making out in French

When we talk about kissing with the tongue, making out, or what English speakers know as Frenching, in French we have a variety of options. To refer to a French kiss, we can choose between une pelle, un patin, or une galoche. Literally, these nouns each translate respectively as a shovel, a skate, and a shoe, with une galoche being closer to its older English counterparts of a galosh or a clog.

The verb we used with these nouns is se rouler, which is reflexive and means to roll. So when we talk about Frenching in French, we’re literally saying to roll a shovel with each other, to roll a skate with one another, or to roll a shoe together. For such a beautiful language, often known as the language of love, you’d think we would have come up with more romantic terms and verbs!

  • On s’est roulé des pelles hier soir avant de se quitter. – We made out (with each other) last night before leaving.
  • Je me suis roulé un patin avec elle, mais elle ne m’a même pas donné son numéro par la suite. – I made out with her but she didn’t even give me her number afterward.

Since this section has been all about romance, you may be interested in our other lovey-dovey posts including how to say “I love you” in French, French terms of endearment, and French love quotes. And in case you’re tempted by another famous phrase, make sure you know the meaning of “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”.

Conclusion: La bise, and other French kissing terms

When greeting French people, be ready for a kiss on both cheeks as a warm hello or goodbye, a sweet practice known as faire la bise. Such an innocent little kiss is une bise or un bisou, and to give such a kiss we use the verb donner.

If there’s a hint of romance involved, the verb is embrasser or s’embrasser, with this cheeky kiss in French called un baiser. Just be careful with this noun’s similarity to the verb baiser, which is to fuck in French!

When making out in French, be ready to use words like rolling a shovel, a galosh, or a skate. Even if the literal translation sounds strange, se rouler une pelle with someone is usually pretty exciting!

With what we’ve presented in this post, you’re now prepared to master the art of the French greetings kiss known as la bise, while also knowing a nice variety of words in French for kisses. So whether you just end up giving a French bisou or you totally make out with someone, we’ll bid you farewell today with all the nouns and verbs in French for kissing!

Nouns for a kiss in French Verbs for kissing in French
La bise Faire la bise, Se faire la bise
Un bisou Faire/Donner un bisou
Un baiser Embrasser, S’embrasser
Une pelle, Une galoche, Un patin Se rouler une pelle/une galoche/un patin

 

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